Title: The 5 Love LanguagesAuthor: Gary Chapman
Year: 2010 (Reprint)
Softcover: 202 pages
Publisher: Northfield Publishing; Reprint edition
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0802473156
ISBN-13: 978-0802473158
Study Level: Entry
Audience: Couples, Everyone
Yes, you read that right, I do consider this book to be right for both couples and everyone. As a single girl, I read this book due to its popularity among many at my church. Besides, maybe someday I will join the rank and file of the married masses. Until then, it never hurts to do your homework before getting to class! With that disclaimer out of the way, I have to explain why this book can be for everyone. Let's face it, not every single person is striving to be in a relationship, but while reading this book I was constantly reminded of the people around me who might benefit from my practicing the principles outlined.
The 5 languages are no secret and can be learned fairly quickly just by visiting Dr. Chapman's website: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ But for quick reference I will list them here:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
After reviewing the list, the reader is then encouraged to take a quick quiz in the back of the book to determine which language is their primary love language. This determination is so important because if we don't realize which method of love expression speaks to us the loudest, we can quickly slip into a life devoid of love. Sure, your spouse may love you beyond measure, but if they are not expressing that love in a language you understand, then you cannot experience that love in a way that registers where it counts. In other words, you feel unconnected and unloved, whether or not that is the truth. This in turn can send a marriage spiraling toward despair or even divorce.
It is easy to look over that list and apply them to the marriage relationship, but the value to your other relationships can also be a added bonus. Yes, many portions of the book describe loving actions that are reserved for married couples, such as sex in the physical touch language, but as I read this book, the examples actually brought to mind other people I knew. I had so many "ah-ha" moments when thinking about past relationships and in particular, other familial relationships. For instance, I found myself analyzing my mother. I could see right away that her primary love language was acts of service followed by quality time. So mentally, I found I was gaining insight into the ways I could make her feel much more loved.
I am not the only person to look at these love languages as universal to any relationship. Even though the book is structured around the marriage relationship, Dr. Chapman has taken the principles and applied them to other relationships in the form of other books. The series has evolved into books for parents trying to understand children, teenagers, singles trying to understand potential mates, and even a book on how to speak God's love language. However, in the end, all of these languages are God's love languages. He created us to respond to certain frequencies, and as the commandment to love one another is a long standing and eternal one, it is our duty to make loving each other a main priority of life. If loving your spouse or others in your life is important to you, as it ought to be, pick up this book first to get a sneak peak at how easy it can be to show love in a more life affirming manner. Next, you can move on to others in the series.
It may be tempting to take the list or the website and learn from these without reading the book, but trust me, the book is well worth it. There are so many wonderful examples and practical instructions on how to implement these love languages for maximum effect. After spending years as a counselor, Dr. Chapman provides invaluable insight in the relationship dynamic and opens the window to understanding how best to love each other. Don't miss this one folks!
"All you need is love..."!
C
I Corinthians 13
